The Fish Story

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by Weeping Eagle

This is a story about fish, water, bureaucrats, and 350 million idiots. 

Once upon a time, many fish swam in lots of water. 

And then men poisoned the water, usurped the water, and caught all the fish they could.

And then one day, some people suddenly woke up and said, 'Look, we caught all the fish and killed all the waters.  Now there won't be enough fish, what are you going to do about it Mr. Bureaucrat?'

The bureaucrats recognized an opportunity.  They passed a law protecting fish from people. 

And then the bureaucrats said, 'You have to pay us to fish, and you have to tell us of all the fish you catch, and you can only catch so many, and only on Thursday and Friday, never Monday or Tuesday'. 

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to print the licenses, count the fish, and catch people when they broke the rules.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to find out why there still weren't more fish.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats reported that there weren't enough new fish for all the fishermen because the water was poisoned, there were dams and obstructions everywhere, and there was no  clean water.  

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to clean the waters, blow up dams, and grow fish in special places called hatcheries.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats realized that water was water.  If the water in the rivers and streams was the same kind of water in water wells, the only way to have more fish was to keep people from having water wells, so that the fish would get all the water, unless the bureaucrats decided to give some to the people. 

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to count water wells, and keep people from making water wells unless they got a permit from the bureaucrats, which cost money.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats realized that if they controlled the water to save the fish, they needed to make sure that no one took  water without getting a permit and paying money to the bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to collect money from citizens for the water they took from their wells.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to put in water wells and give water to citizens from them, but only if the citizens paid the bureaucrats more money.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the bureaucrats gave their friends money and jobs to close down all the peoples' water wells, but only after making the citizens pay for them to do it.  Then there were more bureaucrats. 

And then the people realized they had no more money to give to the bureaucrats.  They had no money for food.  They had no money for shelter. 

And then the bureaucrats realized they owned all the water and were charging as much money as the citizens had, and there was no more money or jobs to give to  friends. 

And then all the people and bureaucrats starved and died. 

And when all the people had been dead long enough, there were more fish than ever. 

And the fish lived happily ever after. 

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